🙈You've Been Avoiding Yourself
🌞 Welcome to Full Stop. Sharing my brain so you can dive deeper into yours.
🌞Hey Full Stop
Hey, it’s your friend Natalie—here to let you know that Q2 of 2025 has officially started, whether or not we feel ready for it.
Yeah. Holy shit.
As we hit the 25% mark of the year (yes, already), I’ve been thinking a lot about the most underdeveloped relationship in most of our lives: the one we have with ourselves.
This week’s Full Stop is part reflection, part kick in the ass—a nudge to start treating yourself with more intention, more grace, and a lot less concern for what anyone else thinks.
Because at the end of the day? You’re the only one who’s here for the whole ride.
Might as well make that relationship a good one.
🌊 What Toddlers Know That We Forget
It’s wild how many of our adult insecurities can be traced back to childhood.
I grew up thinking I could control how people felt about me—by being the peacemaker, the overachiever, the performer. I learned early that applause, flowers, praise? They’re addictive.
And they’re external.
My nervous system got hooked on that hit of validation. Not from myself—from other people.
Rewarding myself? Still feels foreign.
Take something as simple as dinner: If I’m hosting, I’ll cook a gorgeous meal with colors, textures, sauces—an experience. But when it’s just me? I slap together whatever has protein and fiber, eat standing up, and move on.
No thought.
No presence.
This bleeds into everything. I used to feel awkward going to events alone. Ordering a drink by myself. God forbid I saw a movie solo. I didn’t even like going to the beach alone—what was I afraid of, being seen doing something... for me?
And then—yesterday—I saw them.
Three little kids. On Pacifica beach.
One was digging a hole in the sand, ecstatic about how deep it was going.
Another was running full force at the water, screaming as the tide rushed in, running back just in time—only to do it again. And again.
The third? Spraying a water gun in literally every direction, with zero aim and even less apology.
None of them cared who was watching.
None of them were worried about how they looked.
They were just… being. In joy. In motion. In awe.
And it hit me:
These toddlers were embodying the exact thing I’ve been running from—self-autonomy. Self-enjoyment.
Not giving a single shit what anyone thinks.
Honestly? Maybe that’s why we love kids so much.
They’re the purest version of self-expression—unfiltered by shame, ego, or social comparison. And guess what?
The people we admire most as adults—those bold, grounded, magnetic types? They’re the ones who got that back.
They walk with decisiveness.
They own their weirdness.
They live like they’ve got nothing to prove.
So here’s what I’m telling myself—and maybe you need this too:
You are the only person who spans your entire life. You are your responsibility. So stop outsourcing your joy, your presence, your you-ness.
🌀 Going into Q2, this is my new mantra:
I will do what I want, for me. And I will not explain it.
No, that doesn’t mean being selfish or inconsiderate.
It means living from the inside out, not the outside in. It means ordering the damn burger because you want it—not because it passes Becky from Pilates’ silent approval test.
It means remembering that you can always return to your childhood self—the one who was free, curious, and completely unapologetic about what they loved.
So maybe take a second and ask yourself:
When was the last time you did something just for the joy of it?
No audience. No outcome. No filter.
🌞And if this resonates—send it to someone you love.
Maybe they need a little kick in the ass too.
Because freedom doesn’t have to be this massive transformation.
Sometimes, it starts by running toward the water.
Again.
And again.
And again.
📸 Happiness — Circa The Past Two Weeks
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Hi friends, I’m Natalie—a recent Brown University neuroscience grad now living in San Francisco. Through 🌞Full Stop, I share my mind so that you, amazingly insightful reader, can take the risk of exploring yours. Thank you for reading and being part of this journey.